90 Chapter 5 Due to the diagnosis, participants experienced (self-)stigma and underestimation of possibilities to have contact with others. Respondent P053 felt judged by his brother, while P014 experienced self-stigma. R: “[My brother], he really labels you. The label of psychiatry. He can’t view you as a normal person anymore.” ~ P053 R: “Due to my illness, I developed a really bad self-image, and that’s also my weak point I think. I feel bad because of my illness, you know. Like some sort of stigma or whatever. Because of that I don’t feel completely full-fledged, as a person.” ~ P014 2. Medication Positive experiences Many participants mentioned the importance of symptom reduction by the use of medication to achieve personal recovery goals. For some respondents the use of medication gave a sense of control, because they were not overwhelmed by symptoms anymore and could function more independently. I: “Can you tell me what makes you resilient against these kinds of symptoms?” R: “I think, in the end, medication. It gives some control. When I take medication, I can discard them, the ideas. And sometimes when someone says something, I still think ‘He means this or that’, but then with medication... yeah, I can discard that idea, like ‘That’s not true.’” ~ P007 R: “We’ve tried every medication, and finally clozapine, and that’s helped me to again continue my life independently.” ~ P014 Negative experiences The majority of the respondents argued that side-effects can be a clear downside of medication. R: “Look, I found life horrible, it wasn’t doable with all those voices, severe psychosis. I happily take the medication because that was horrible. But yeah, that still leaves a big problem, I think. […] . I take medication that gives some people more energy, but not for me, I just fall asleep after taking it.” ~ P007 ‘Combined’ (both positive and negative) experience Also, it was stated by some that if medication does not work sufficiently, it is possible to live with ongoing symptoms. So, medication is not a complete solution.
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