136 Chapter 7 BOX D Partner of a person with severe mental illness had been in a relationship with A, whose behavior had turned strange and dangerous. She attributed to A the role of someone with a mental illness (in this case a psychosis), and to herself the role of arranging appropriate care for A. She ended up in disagreement and struggle with both A and professionals. Her disagreement with professionals only got resolved after she got informed on the mismatch between her take on her role, and that of professionals, who did not think she had a part in decision making. She took action to become a legal representative. The more unconditionally meaningful role she felt to A as a partner and only contact may help explain the great lengths she went. [When A became mentally ill] We did briefly take the path of getting a referral for mental health services. Only A did not go to the appointment, because he believed he was fine. [...] [Later, when A was once more sectioned to a mental hospital, after years in which A had frequently shown recurrent dangerous and confused behavior and also had gone missing for a period of time] And the psychiatrist again wanted to send him away as soon as possible. And then I really tried all I could to obstruct and fortunately there was a nurse who pointed out to me: you are not married to him, you are not a family member, you can’t tell us anything, because legally, you mean nothing to us. And then I figured out how to become a legal representative. Because I’m the only contact of A. Table 2: Attributing roles to members of the triad (theme 1). 1.1 Role concerning (re)-establishing and having unconditional and meaningful contact Persons with severe mental illness Sometimes he also said, you can call me day and night. Not that I would call him in the middle of the night, but the idea is nice. Respondent valuing unconditional support I: What does it mean to you that your mother is so deeply involved? R: She is my safety. She always got my back. When I had to be hospitalized my mother was there with my youngest sister. And what touched me deeply is that they both said how loving I was and how nice I was and all those kind of things. Respondent on the importance of being valued on a difficult occasion Family I: What do you think is important to your relationship in the future? R: [Thinks for a while] That we can just be brother and sister for a very long time instead of caregiver - patient. [...] just that we have a good time watching television together [laughs] Just the simple things. Sibling of a person with SMI on having meaningful contact I always bring her a present. And when she sees me, she says, “Oh, no, not again!” Because she doesn’t like to talk and I say, “Sorry, I’m only bringing a present.” [laughs] And I leave again. [...] But then she recovers [continued on next page]
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MTk4NDMw