Exploring UP journeys among women with psychiatric vulnerability using interpretative phenomenological analysis 177 love them, but before that, I'm really scared. I never. Ehh, yeah. Usually, I don't like even to touch them." (Participant 5) Transition to motherhood As new parents, participants were surprised by the way in which bonding, love and protecting the baby could occur, even though not all participants had a healthy and safe parental example themselves. From the moment of birth, participants felt a shift in priorities. Love for the baby also prioritized their wellbeing over other aspects of life. Participant 2 illustrated this as being less willing to head back to work after her maternity leave. "I really feel such a bonding. […] Then there's really this kind of protective feeling that you couldn't even imagine during pregnancy. Because I really couldn't imagine that it’s really there now. Mmm, that's very special to experience and very different from what I thought." (Participant 2) Participant 6 expressed her love for her baby through communication during the interview, which was marked by her talking to her baby, addressing her with positive nicknames and making nonverbal contact. "[talks to baby] Oh, yeah. Pure joy [name baby]. Pure joy. Yeah. All right. All right. Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa! Are you happy, baby? Now, Are you happy, baby? Now? Yes." (Participant 6) Participant 1 showed how she prioritized her baby by using superlatives. "Yeah, he's truly the most important thing in my life, and I'd do anything for him. The most important thing for me is that everything goes well with him and that he becomes happy." (Participant 1) Prioritizing the baby’s wellbeing also had its downside. For participant 7, her focus on preventing trauma to her baby put considerable pressure on her. She experienced the responsibility of parenting as a challenge. Participant 7: "I find the responsibility sometimes a bit overwhelming, you know. Suddenly, with everything, you think, 'Okay, but what if I mess this up?' And I know it doesn't happen because of one thing, but sometimes I do think that." Interviewer: " And what kind of things are those?"
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