Exploring UP journeys among women with psychiatric vulnerability using interpretative phenomenological analysis 169 have a child naturally’. I won’t be devastated, but like I would feel sad. And I was worried like maybe I’m infertile or something. And like ‘no you are not’, so there was like a small silver lining there." (Participant 4) Perceiving stigma Most participants had doubts about sharing that the pregnancy was unintended with their social circle due to fear of negative reactions and stigma. Participant 7 commented on how her mother tried to influence her decision-making regarding pregnancy. "And then I called my mother to tell her. And then my mother did everything to try to convince me that I should have an abortion, while I had already made the decision not to do it and had stated that as well." (Participant 7) Participant 8 shares this view. She did not share her story with her mother out of fear that she would judge her. "I didn’t tell my mom for a long time because she was very against the second unplanned pregnancy as well. […] It was, it was you know a lot of pressure on one side to keep it and be positive about it. And on the other side it was pure negative ‘[…], you’ve ruined your life’, like, ‘there’s no way out of this’. So, not really support on either side." (Participant 8) Aside from not feeling any support, these reactions from significant others created hardship for the participants. Stigma was also related to mental health problems, introducing a double stigma: one of the UP and one of the mental health situations. This is illustrated by participant 3, who explains that she did not want to be open about her suicidal thoughts out of fear that child services would take her child away. She illustrated the fear of being perceived as a bad mother, which even made her suspicious. "At the beginning I was also afraid. There was a constant focus on ‘suicidal, suicidal’. I thought; oh yes, if I now state very strongly that I'm suicidal, then my child will be taken away from me later, or something, it creates a kind of suspicion." (Participant 3) Participant 1 further elaborated on the stigma that she endured due to her mental health diagnosis. She feels that if something happens, others will attribute that to hearing a mental health diagnosis.
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