Chapter 7 162 Her repeated use of the first person, ‘I’, may be interpreted as her feeling lonely in the decision-making process and her fully taking responsibility for the situation herself. For participant 5, pregnancy was mostly perceived as a threat that caused her anxiety. She foresaw a future in which she would become a mother through adoption, as she feared newborns. She had never considered carrying a pregnancy herself. When asked how she had experienced her pregnancy thus far, she expressed her fear of the changing life plan and prospects of pregnancy. "Not good, ehh, because I was not planning to have a baby. I never wanted. And so, I was not feeling okay at all. Because I, you know, when you don't plan something, you have a plan. And then suddenly everything changed. So, it's a bit shocking. And the fact that I, I never wanted a kid, it's kind of really a bit, yeah, it drove me a bit anxious and, like, the not knowing what to do and what I want […]. It has not been easy. It's kind of hard for me." (Participant 5) The words she used to verbalize her account of the situation seemed to undervalue the severity of her mental health symptoms, which became apparent during the interview. A line as thick as could be UPs evoked varying reactions from the participants at the time they were discovered; none of them were initially positive. The words the participants chose when verbalizing their discovery illustrated how they assigned meaning to them and expressed their shock and surprise. Participant 5 realized she forgot to mention her pregnancy in the interviews’ introduction, exemplifying the denial of her pregnancy. Interviewer: "Ehm, well and of course, we are interviewing you as well because you are pregnant." Participant 5: "Yeah, yeah, ah yes, I'm pregnant. [Laughing] Oh, my gosh. " The laughing may have implied that she was ashamed and in shock by how she forgot to mention the pregnancy in her introduction. In contrast to her verbal denial of pregnancy, she shared her bodily experiences. She explained that she could not sleep anymore, implying that there were things changing due to her pregnancy, but the pregnancy was not yet conscious.
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