Family planning decision-making in relation to psychiatric disorders in women 131 Shadow of the past Originally, the shadow of the past reflected the impact of life experiences, psychological predispositions, and socioeconomic factors on an individual’s decision about having children29. In our sample, this theme was enriched by the interplay between personal experiences in the women’s upbringing, the perceived parenting skills of their parents, and how those women respond to these experiences. Quotations are provided in Table 6.5. Table 6.5 - Quotations belonging to the theme shadow of the past. Childhood trauma and adverse life events 62 years, no children, experienced an unintended pregnancy: “Even though I never really felt at home in my parental home, I still wanted something of a family.” 53 years, no children: “I come from a German family, which also caused war trauma. And then I think, what are you passing on, apart from the technical story of passing on. That is my justification [for not having a child].” Inadequate parenting 32 years, one son: “Yes, I had that too. That you did have an [bad] example. I was like, I don't want to do it like my parents … I want to do it differently.” 59 years, no children: “My father had a mood disorder, manic depressive [disorder]. … My mother has ADD, or ADHD, so I see it from both sides. I see my mother running back and forth hysterically, and I know my father has had huge lows. And then I look back and I’m glad that I didn’t have any children.” ADD attention deficit disorder, ADHD attention deficit hyperactivity disorder This table shows quotations belonging to the theme shadow of the past, grouped by the categories: childhood trauma and adverse life events, and inadequate parenting (Childhood) trauma and adverse life events The participants of all focus group discussions spontaneously shared (childhood) trauma and adverse life events when asked about their family planning decisionmaking, revealing their perceived connection between these experiences and their family planning considerations. They believed that their upbringing impacted their decisions. Lived experience with trauma affected perspectives on family planning differently: some women were motivated to move past their childhood trauma by building a (better) family for themselves by having a child, while other women refrained from having children because of their adverse life events. Inadequate parenting This category showed how reflections on their own upbringing, specifically on their parents' parenting skills or the lack thereof, can influence women’s perspectives on having children. The decision to have children became a personal and reflective process shaped by the desire to replicate positive aspects of one's upbringing or breaking away from negative patterns and challenges.
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